WISHING YOU A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR & A WITTY WAY TO START THE NEW YEAR…
2014, the year gone by, the institution has grown by 40% vis-à-vis last year’s 25%. More and more people vouch for me, half a million more couples have joined.
It is very exciting…
2015, expected to show strong growth outlook; leveraging the IT platform are the mushrooming matrimony marts. “I am an innocent divorcee looking for a never married, who can take care of me and my children.”
It is not negotiable…
Marriage: “I am the harbinger of happiness.”
The Return on Engagement (ROE) has shown a sharp increase this year.
“That’s good isn’t?” affirmed Marriage.
“Hey, Marriage!” Its good news for me, confirmed Divorce.
“How can that be good?” yelled Marriage.
After all they are my potential customers, snapped Divorce.
Divorce: “Everybody should get married, after all happiness is not the only thing in life.”
Last couple of years, it was hovering around eight thousand; this year the customer base has crossed the important twenty-five thousand mark. I was struggling to Breakeven, this year it has been bumper ‘Breakups’.
“Oh, I’m so relieved!” gushed Divorce.
“Huh?” cried Marriage. “You are?”
“Irony of life, one should sit down and find out where one stands.”
Look, who should be excited, sighed Marriage.
I was going through the recently published report titled “Future Prospects of Marriage” by Traditional Consulting Group (TCG).
Marriage: They have some interesting findings, it’s encouraging for me.
72% of the respondents said marriages are made in heaven, and they have a strong faith in my institution.
“Oh, I’m so relieved!” gushed Marriage.
“Huh?” cried Divorce. “You are?”
So, are lightening and thunders, quipped Divorce.
And life becomes hell soon after…
“Huh! I don’t want to counter!” growled Marriage.
Jokes apart, the report warn a subtle wave simmering the relationship market. Quasi un-institutional players like “Flexi-Marriage” to “Convenience-Marriage” have started fluttering the institutional market.
“It’s strange,” said Divorce scratching his head.
These are reflecting the intensity of dubious fire, flaming the sacrosanct institution of marriage.
“Its serious affair”…moaned Marriage.
“Well, yes”, responded Divorce.
I happen to scan the report on “Breakup Prospects and Openings (BPO)” published by Modern Research Group (MRG). I have been equated to the BPO of IT industry, proudly pronounced by Divorce.
“Oh!” shrieked Marriage. “You’re scaring me now.”
“Oh, yeah,” giggled Divorce.
“What will happen to all of us?” crooned Marriage.
It’s imperative; we need to form a consortium, to counter the new threat to our institutions.
“I’m getting scared,” wailed Divorce.
Why should they evade my institution? quipped Marriage.
Increasing career disorientation to mobility of misplaced-job, are threatening the prospects of your traditional institution, Divorce replied patiently.
Marriage nodded in agreement.
“Phew!” exclaimed Marriage. I’m glad I’m not you!”
Cynical! They say, why at all get admitted to your institution.
“Ooh! Listen to her,” cried Divorce.
Divorce: In fact this year, I am budgeting 15% of my profit towards brand building, to dispel the myth associated with my institution.
I am planning to introduce new advertisements, to smoothen the sudden and glaring loss of marital status.
Punchline…“Marital Loss is not Hair Loss, better without re-Gain”
“Don’t do it!” yelled Marriage. “It isn’t right.”
“Woman is incomplete without a man, and legally they have to negotiate through my institution.”
“Man is a part of Wo-man.”
Divorce: Lackluster emotional compatibility to lackadaisical material satisfaction, germinates the cleavages in the holy alliance, nurturing an unholy alliance is a misery to life; I am the panacea.
“But the sentence is incomplete without stating that man is finished after the marriage.”
“He becomes a part of S-he.”
“Wise people avoid venturing into your institution in the fear of getting branded as Otherwise”.
Marriage to Divorce: “Let’s Makeup otherwise our institution will Breakup.”